Orgasm

The orgasm, in the psychological sense of the term, corresponds to an abrupt discharge of tension accumulated during the preliminary period of sexual excitation. It occurs when the excitation is at its most intense, last only few seconds (3 to 5 seconds) and is followed by a relief and relaxing sensation. This physical and emotional pleasure is without doubt one of the strongest that a human being can feel.

The individual physiologic reactions during the orgasm are very varied from someone to one another, but also in the same person (generally after 50 years old, the orgasm is less strong because the muscular contractions that go with the orgasm are less intense due to a decrease of the muscular tonus which is due to the age), from the excitation degree, from the ability to let itself go to its own pleasure, from the education and from anterior behavioural conditioning. For women, much more than for men, the ability to reach an orgasm depends on her ability to let herself go to her sensual perceptions and to be able to express her pleasure without the fear of being “judge” by her partner. Note also that “wanted” too much to reach the orgasm always lead to a failure because the intervention of the conscious inhibit the orgasmic reflex.

The physiological demonstrations of the orgasm can go from one extreme to the other, that is from a generalized convulsive aspect of all the body to some tiny contractions at the genital organs level, imperceptible by the partners. In general these muscular contractions are ± generalized with body rigidity, twitches, grimaces, emission of growls or moaning. Sometimes its contractions remained localized at the anal and genital sphere level (vagina, uterus and urethra for a woman, prostate and seminal vesicle for a man).  It should be note that in all cases the normal face expression of someone who feels an orgasm is contracted and tormented. Thus, a woman who said that she had an orgasm whereas she was very relaxed and smiling, is probably putting on an act.

For a man, the orgasm is usually contemporaneous with ejaculation, but some men can have orgasm without ejaculation or an ejaculation without orgasm. For a woman, the orgasm is contemporaneous with contractions which have for a start the clitoris or the vagina (the G point is localised at the anterior and inferior part of the vagina, close to the vulvar orifice). Whatever the start point of the female orgasm, it will have the same demonstration and will bring the same pleasure. It is necessary to note that some women have essentially an external, vulvar and clitoral eroticism whereas some other women have especially a vaginal eroticism. This difference is important because women who have an external eroticism will have less pleasure during the penetration and vice versa, women who have a vaginal eroticism will have some pleasure only during the penetration. Even if the orgasm is as strong in both cases, a woman who prefers external caresses to the penetration will sometimes feel guilty toward her partner and would like to reach an orgasm by penetration in order to please her partner, who can hardly stand that his own sex can not make her come! Like it is very difficult for a clitoral woman to become vaginal, it is necessary that the man to accept that his partner can have a lot more pleasure with his hands than with his sex!

 Usually the factors which release an orgasm are the touch at the genital level or the penetration, less often the touch of the breast or the anus. Erotic dreams can also lead to an orgasm during the night.

Woman, contrary to man, can be multi orgasmic (10% of women are multi orgasmics) that is she can have several orgasms during the same excitation period (but her orgasms are generally less strong). In another hand, for man, contrary to woman, the orgasm is followed by a refractory period which is a period where a new stimulation will not lead to a new excitation. For a woman this refractory period does not exist and a new stimulation can lead to a new excitation which can be followed by another orgasm.

From a statistic point of view, 35% of women say that they have an orgasm at each sexual intercourse whereas men have an orgasm basically every time they have a sexual intercourse. It is also necessary to know that simultaneous orgasm is not very often and it needs a perfect knowledge of the erotic reactions of the partner.

Finally, it is necessary to note that some women never have an orgasm strictly speaking, but they have some orgasmic mini discharge imperceptible by the male partner. These women like the penetration which last a long time because they do not know the satisfaction which occurs after a strong orgasm.